damn….

So I was looking around my drawer and found a beyblade (remember how awesome they were) and then I noticed a small wobbafet figure I had on my shelve, simple because, its wobbafet. So I got thinking how me and my friends used still talk about how awesome pokemon would be if they were real, then I got thinking (at this stage my head was sore from doing this) about this project I saw about the secret life of inanimate objects, a Dr.Pepper later, I was out in my back garden placing this fella around, trying to make this static object look living. The full set is on flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jameswhelton/sets/72157624453305669/with/4827079792/

How the hell do I always manage to get hurt?!?!?

My friend Michael had me and a few of the lads up to his gaf out pass Midle(of-frick-nowhere)ton, well anyway within 10 minutes I was cover in blood and shit. Yup, we blazed up to a field on Michael’s dirtbike, so anyway after a 2 minute long crash course, I push started the bike and was off like a bullet, in the great ability of 2nd gear. After 30 seconds, I got up enough balls to go up to 3rd gear…. after 10 seconds, said balls receded  and I slammed on the brakes, thats the point where I realised that I no clue how to brake. Speeding along at a wall, I did a dodgy turn to the left and realised (with a crazy sick feeling in my stomach) at the rate and direction I was going I would slam into the hedging and eat road at the other side of the hedge. So I did what any other person did…. throw my body the fuck to side and roll like crazy. I slammed against the grassy floor and started half-rolling, half-sliding along the ground, thank god I was wearing the helmet (despite I hadn’t clipped it). Picked myself up and carried on, when you fall off a dirtbike, you pick yourself and carry on… thats if you’re not horribly crippled. Worst that had happened to me was that I took a few tasty chunks outta my knee and can never wear that tshirt again after what I landed in.

In addition to dirtbike incidents, we had a savage BBQ, an awesome slip-n-slide,  broke a bench by simply sitting on it, ukulele, backflipping on trampoline while playing said ukulele, hanging out with Dervila (Crystal Swing), having another crash with a pedal GoKart and sneaking out at 3 in the morning but returning 10 minutes later coz there’s nothing todo in the country. Im wrecked.

Just emailed a energy drinks company for sponsorship, heres what I said…

Sup my energy-drinkin’ contact-readin’ friend,

My name is James Whelton, of the Cork Pirates, a speedball and woodsball team exploding onto the Irish paintball scene with more explosions than Michael Bay can fit into a transformers film. We’re here to kick and paint some ass, but we can’t do it alone! We need your help, see currently we are supported by a paintball retailer for cheaper gear and a site to train on, but we need you to help us with small things like entrance fee’s to competitions/events  and staying awesomely refreshed! Normally per event theres an entrance fee of around 250euro, we are looking for you help us a bit with and smoothly slide us a slab of ——- or so, we’ll fly your flag high, be photographed with your drink and give out ———– stuff at events and show why ———– gives you the extra 9000%+!
Looking forward to hearing from ye,
James Whelton

Man I hope they sponsor us….

Today was’nt particularly eventful, just full of surprise (its 23:32, Ive only had 3 hours sleep, leave me off if its an oxymoron). I want to blog about today because its everyday things that go on around us that we normally ignore or don’t do, but today I saw extremely goodness in people, which I too received and gave (yeah, yeah Im sounding like a priest).

Probably the biggest event today was when I was walking past a crowd of people on patrick’s street, I looked over to see a man on the floor having an epileptic fit, with two women and a man trying to help him. I hear one of them shout “he’s shallowed his tongue”, a woman ran out of the shop behind the where all this was taking place and said the ambulance was on its way. Now despite being trained in first aid 2 weeks ago, I froze, as many people do. I blending into the crowd of onlookers, I hover in there for a moment, I could go try and find a whey free protein and assume they’d look after him, or I could help (though not getting up my own ass, Im sure he woulda been grand without my help), When he started to suffocate and move out of the recovery position, without thinking I grabbed his legs and placed him back into it, I joined the 3 other randomers, non knew him, it affected non of us, but I live by the idea do onto others as you wish others do onto you (sounding like FR.Whelton again I know). When the ambulance finally got there (fucking things take forever), I let the paramedics take over, then helped get the trolley and get him on his way and moved onto Mahers Sports looking for a new protein. The idea is when we don’t have to help or do something, when it does’nt affect our existence, most people just pass by or stand idle, if you’re one of these, go screw yourself.

I was running to the bus stop today with a coffee in my hand (needed a boost from my 3 hours of sleep), fecking thing spilt and I had coffee on the front of my jacket and looked like spanner getting the bus, I tried to joke to the bus driver “They teach ye not to run with scissors, yet not to run with coffee”, to which I received the biggest “get the fuck away” look.

To highlight another case of how people can do small things that make a big difference, I was getting tshirts made up, and had my files on my memorystick, they could’nt read the memorytick because it was formatted to Mac Os Journaled (htfs) and it was an anal-retentive windows xp. After my boss giving me a black cd, Ger, the manager at Compub Cork, burn the files from the Mac formatted usb key to the cd, now its one thing selling products, but simple stuff like that makes a big difference, as a result Im plugging CompuB, Opera Lane, Cork as the best Apple retailer in Ireland!

The last thing on this theme of random acts of helping, me, Ian and Ronan were walking back to the School were the two of them are supervising exams, when some random guy, well dressed, came up to us and asked for a second of time. Now at this point Ian loads his ‘crazy religious fanatics’ gun and I shrug, but he surprised both of us. He simply said “Don’t do drugs or any of that stuff and get violence out of your head” and then said goodbye, we need more people like that.

Hav’nt written a blog post on the team before so heres the time to enlighten ye all! The Cork Mayhem is a paintball team Colm, Darren and myself started. The early stages of it are another post’s story. Loads of interest from different age groups, With sponsorship from a major uk shop and in final talks with a paintball site, Ill update ye in due time!

Despite the wind and the rain (whats new?), fair fucks to them doing it, I myself slept in that morning…

So im sitting here in work taking a break from taking yellow cartridges out of magenta boxes and swapping them into their own and vice-versa (suffice to say I think all the workers in that factory in china are now colourblind due to over exposure of ink)!

So now that’s summers here, there’s a few things I wanna do over the summer, that or I’ll revert to being the best procrastinator ever, I’ll tell how I got that way later…

Things I want todo:
-Get Cork Pirates Paintball Team properly running
-Make €€€
-Get full driving license (failed test last week)
-Get better at skateboarding & wakeboarding
-Make sampler YouTube vid of flips, skating and other stupid stuff to rival my urban skimboarding video
-Properly formulate ‘Whelton Enterprises’
-Update my sites across the board
-Get better at iPhone programming
-Move workout from 3 times a week to daily
-Get my band “Penguins With Jet Engines” going with friends
-Webcomics
-Learn multiple backhandsprings
-Get 1000+ followers on twitter
-Give my blog the tender love it deserves

Gonna be one hell of a freakin summer

So ExploreYourIE ran a pretty bitchin’ comp over twitter that whoever tweeted the best 30 characters would win one of these bad boys….

Cork or ‘Cark’ (depending where yer from) based company HairyBaby made these.